Old Fritz

The wife and I were watching the dog agility contest on TV the other day. If you’ve never seen the agility contest, you’re really missing out on an icredibly entertaining experience. That dog show got me thinking about dogs- specifically all the dogs I’ve had the pleasure to have know over the years. The first thing I’ll say is that I don’t think I can remember all the dogs I’ve had, because there were so many. Some dogs live a long life and some dogs don’t. I do believe though, that no dog lives long enough. My last dog was a Cocker/ Boston Terrier mix named Oreo. She looked like a little black and white bulldog and had a Cocker attitude. That little dog could jump 5 feet in the air after a tennis ball and demanded to play every day even in winter. To this day thinking about that dog brings tears to my eyes. I haven’t had a dog since her. I’ve had some crazy dogs in my life. I once got a hound from a dog musher. He was trying to breed some speed into his team with ‘Jersey’ the Dalmation. The dog was certainly built for speed, but unfortunately wasn’t built with much brain. He chased planes. In Alaska there are many small aircraft going over the house daily. Every time a plane flew over Jersey would start going after it, no matter what direction it was headed. Maybe his original owner had a plane- who knows? We once had a dog my daughter named Kayla. Kayla got alot of leftovers that we didn’t want. We’d give her old leftover pizza which she would bury around the yard. Kayla would let it ‘ripen up’ for a few days then dig it up and eat it. They say you shouldn’t feed your dog leftovers, but Kayla lived to be 19 years old. Mmm, home made pizza good! The first two dogs I remember when I was a kid were, Sorrowful and Fritz. Sorrowful was an outside dog, a Hound/ Beagle mix that loved to chase cottontails. He’d get on a rabbit and start howling like the hound he was till he got tired and dragged his butt home. I only remember him bringing a rabbit home one time. Fritz, on the other hand was a standard Dachshund who lived in the house. Fritz was so fat his belly dragged the floor. Dad got Fritz from an older gentleman named Bill that had to move into a senior home and couldn’t keep him anymore. Sad. Fritz came with his own bed and blanket and Mom let Dad set up Fritzy in their bedroom. Old Fritz whined that whole night. We all figured it was because he missed his old master, but dad called Bill the next day anyway. After talking to Bill, Dad said, ‘we’re supposed to tuck him in with his blanket at bedtime’. Sure enough, that was the trick, never heard old Fritz whine again at night. Our family had a farm in Michigan in the early 60’s with a big old drafty farmhouse that was probably built in the stone age. The house was so cold in the winter that I can remember ice on the top of a glass of water one morning. Well, when it gets cold outside there are lots of critters that want to get in your warm house with you, even if it’s not that warm- this includes rats! Fritz had been laying in front of the long kitchen counter where the sink was located, just staring at it with his ears erect since winter had arrived. We all knew there were mice under there and had been catching them in traps. You couldn’t let Fritz get hold of a trap with a mouse in it, because he was such a glutton he’d eat the dead mice any chance he got. Then one day, Mom let Dad know, quite loudly in fact, that she had seen a rat scurry into a hole under the house. She made it perfectly clear to my father that she wasn’t living in a house with rats! Her message was clear, her message was succinct, ‘the rats go or I go!’ The extermination order had been given- the battle plans were laid- Saturday morning- after oatmeal- D-Day! The kitchen was a large room, probably 16’X20’ with two entrances that we blocked off so the enemy could not escape. The table and chairs were moved farthest from the counter, which was the attack zone. Dad had unhooked the plumbing under the sink the night before to give our side the element of surprise that morning. My older brothers, Eric and Rolf had assembled weapons of mass destruction for us to use is the ensuing mother of all battles, including- rakes, hoes, shovels, and a baseball bat. Rolf tried to bring in an axe, but Mom said she didn’t need anymore holes in the house! We also had Fritz and Sorrowfull in the kitchen at full alert and numerous cats that I had rounded up. Everyone had their winter boots and gloves on just in case one of these vicious rodentia had massive fangs or claws! With my brother Eric on one end of the counter and Dad on the other end of the counter, the command was given to ‘Pull it from the wall!’ That’s when all hell broke loose! There must have been twenty mice shooting in every direction! Two of the biggest rats I’ve ever seen came running across the room straight at me! That’s when Fritz took charge- grabbing one rat by the neck, shaking it violently and letting it fly! He the sped to the other rat, bit it’s rear flank with a ‘crunch’ did a canine pirouette ending with a deathly bite to rodents neck with another violent shake! The cats were all atop the table at this time watching the commotion and Sorrowful was just slipping and sliding on the linoleum having no luck in the hunt. Rolf managed to flatten a couple mice with a shovel, but Fritz was still taking care of business grabbing mice as fast as he could! He’d grab a mouse, crunch it once, and swallow it! He did this a few times, then he just started killing them like a dog possessed. I couldn’t beleive how fast that old fat dog was- it was unbelievable! That dog killed almost all of those rodents in a matter of moments! We all stood there speechless for a time after it was over, amazed at the ruthless efficiancy of that dog! Fritz remained vigilant though and was still on the hunt! Even days after the battle he was still guarding the kitchen! Dogs are certainly some of the most amazing animals on earth. The saying ‘Man’s Best Freind’ doesn’t account for all the wonderful things our canine companions can do in our lives and our memories. I will never forget that epic battle that day when I was a young man, and I will never forget old Fritz, the greatest mouser I ever knew.